Midnight

This evening I decided to take my dog on a midnight stroll. Not the safest idea, but by far best decision I have made in a very long time.. there is something about feeling like the only person in the world that I tend to relish in. So, I am on this little trek of mine; the air is filled with the scent of honey suckle and the temperature is that cool, brisk, summer-time air that immediately sends me back to late night outdoor games at jr high camp, and all I can hear are crickets (or more likely cicadas) chirping. For a city girl, this scenery is rare, but I absolutely adore it when I take the time to enjoy it. I can't help but marvel at the nature created solely for our benefit.
So I am walking which is usually when I take the time to process, organize, analyze and reflect on my day but tonight my mind was flooded with all of these memories of intensely spiritual moments in my life. I won't give a rundown of every single one (because there are SO many ;) but I quickly realized that not a single one of them was inside a church and yet all of them were so meaningful to me that I was moved to tears just thinking about them again.
So why do we make spirituality so much about a service, congregation, denomination, or building?

Don't you think God is more interested in a one-on-one relationship with you?
I do. I think God still walks to "walk in the garden with us" but not in the way I've been taught to communicate with my Creator and Savior. See, I think the church has been programmed to think that God has to be riled up to show up. As in, we need to create the perfect environment for God to enter into.

I'm learning that your heart is the perfect environment, no matter what condition it is in. God desires to know YOU, to communicate with YOU, to reveal things to YOU, to confide in YOU, to listen to YOU. This is not a communal relationship God is after, it is individual.

Did you catch my "no matter what condition it is in"?
Call me crazy, but I have met some very imperfect people that God has done huge things through. And yes, there are plenty of examples in the bible, but I am talking real-life, right now people that churches quickly condemn and write off because of their mistakes.
Here's a bit of wisdom I heard in high school that has stuck with me ever since: people with the biggest callings for God often struggle with their flesh the most. As in, some people who are doing the greatest things for God, can also do some of the worst things to people.

I don't think I'm getting too far off-base to say that I believe God knows our hearts and intentions and is going to bless our passions, even if our flesh isn't 100% in line with our intentions. We are human, and I think the goal is to grow stronger in your spirit so that you can deny your flesh more often. The goal is not to never sin, it is to grow away from sin.

Peace.

"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.."

It is good to be reminded of this when I feel like my heart has been everything but guarded.. Protected.
Sometimes I forget how desperately God loves us... I quickly forget at what length Christ will go to give us security, confidence, and peace.
If we let him. 

I also tend to forget what a gentleman my Savior is. That even though every part of Him wants to rescue us from pain and restore our souls and minds, He sits by and waits for us to ask for Him (I personally imagine him sitting on his hands, trying to contain his eagerness and be patient- although I am sure that is not quite the case). 

Maybe this is all coming from a girl who wants nothing more than to feel valued, adored, and spectacularly unique... But that in and of itself speaks so highly of God's character- that He will be exactly what you need Him to be when you decide you NEED Him. 

Whether it is a Savior, a Provider, Father, Counselor, Rock, Lion, Shield, Prince of Peace, Giver of Life- He IS that. 

I love the part of Philippians 4:7 that states "which transcends ALL understanding"
As in, when you can't comprehend how anyone could care about you or find value in you, God will show you your worth
As in, when you don't understand why everything is happening to way it is, God will show you the light at the end of the tunnel.

Because He adores us and only wants us to trust and rely on Him.

Alright! Love Post #2

My church family.

I wish I would have had a love month instead of a love week, because each and every person at my church is near and dear to me and essential at theSpring.
My pastor and his wife, Tim and Kim Rutledge, felt the need to plant themselves in Franklin, TN at the exact same time that I chose to leave my comfort zone behind and search for a new place to call "home".
To say that God's hand was on the situation is an incredible understatement.

The first week that theSpring team met, we took turns explaining how we ended up in the Vienna Coffee House in Cool Springs, TN at 11 AM on a Sunday morning. I have never encountered a group of people who were so confidently pursing God's will and risking everything to live it out.

Not only are they passionate about creating a church, each one is equally if not more passionate about reaching the people around us.
I know this small church will soon be a large church, not because of any one person, but because of the faith and the passion that our church feels.

Because of them I am a confident Christian, because of them I have a safe haven to commune with people and refresh each week.

Love Post #1

An old friend turned me onto Pastor Steven Furtick from Elevation Church a few years ago. I used to listen to his messages each week (And still try to catch it) but I became an even bigger fan of his daily blog. At the time I was aspiring to be a pastor's wife, so I figured I should probably listen even closer to his wife, Holly Furtick.

My aspirations have changed a tad, but I still read Holly Furtick's blog daily. She is so normal and yet so wise and godly (something to be admired). I love the little window into her life that she allows her readers to peek through.

Anyways, this week she started a "love post" and each day is dedicated to the people she loves most. So I am taking her example.

Today is about my mom. To say that she is a great mom is such an understatement. She is not only a great mom, she is a great woman and a great friend. She is by far the hardest working person I know and has accomplished so much- as I get older I realize just how much she done, for herself, her co-workers, her family, and the people she loves.

My mom is from a small town in West Virginia where very few speak correct English and most never leave their coal-mining towns begins. I am almost positive that rotary dial phones are still the main source of communication and satellite television is a "new" feature.
However, my mom is one of the most educated people I know and the woman has more connections than most politicians haha. (It comes in handy when I need a favor ;)
Not only does she know people, but I have yet to meet a person who didn't just love her. She is the most giving person I know and would do anything for someone in need.

She is also the strongest person I know. She has gotten out of bad situations, even at the risk of being unstable or insecure for a season. She has lived on her own and parented me single-handedly all these years.

I am so thankful for her guidance and her love. The older I get the more I respect her and the happier I am to have her around. I know I have been everything but easy to raise and she stuck around when anyone and everyone else has left me to fend for myself.

Happy Valentines Day Mom.. I am so proud of you and to be your daughter.

Life as a Soap Opera

There is something to be said for the cast of shows like Jersey Shore, The Hills, Laguna Beach, Real Housewives of *name that city*.
And here is what I have to say, "I am so glad that I am not you."

Call me crazy, but I would rather be bored out of my mind in a world of simple than to spend a day in the "he said, she said.. did you hear about ____?" world that so many girls, teenagers, and sadly to say grown women, find themselves in.

I found myself in a situation similar to the above recently and two days later I found myself driving with the radio off, shaking my head and thinking.. "what just happened and how did I get here?" 

And as I thought, I just got more and more disgusted with myself to the point where I decided that it was more important (and profitable) to have 2 or 3.. maybe even 1 great friend, then a whole group of friends who don't really act as friends.

That is a tough pill to swallow for someone who genuinely loves meeting new people, making new friends, and creating a connection and bond with each and every one of them. However, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it is literally biblical. How many men of the bible had hosts of friends that defended them and loved them deeply that they actually trusted?

Coming up pretty empty-handed? I did too.

So- consider this a challenge to myself and to you: Cultivate the great relationships you already have. Don't let those slip, because they are so rare. Instead of trying to please everyone and make some people like you even more, spend time with the people who already think you're great and don't make you work for a friendship.

It might not be reality TV-worthy, but it could be life-changing.

Currently Listening

Miss Adele has been on my mind for a while, but tonight I finally broke down and bought her album. I think I have already listened to it 10 times straight through tonight alone. She has such a BIG voice, I adore it. Her sound makes me feel so British too. For whatever reason I got into a picture-taking mood and since I was feeling British- I played with some of the hats I own! I even got a little edgier with my photo editing (edgy haha, as edgy as you CAN get with iPhoto) while listening to Adele's beautiful tunes.

Here is her cover of "Make You Feel My Love". She literally makes you feel the love! <3

Under Construction!

I mentioned in my first blog that I used to write a lot. Clearly, it has been a while because I am quite out of practice. But after reviewing my few and far between posts, I decided that I am being too vague and not informational enough about what's going on in the here and now. And, since I have a memory span slightly superior to a goldfish- I think it would be a good idea for me to be more documentary about my life. So I actually know what I am talking about a week from now. 

2011 has brought a change or two in my life so far and I'll fill you (or myself, for the future) in on a few of those things:

1. My appetite and work out schedule. Well, honestly my appetite hasn't changed much yet (I still crave all things carbs and sugary) but the goal here is to improve my diet and lessen my portions. So far it has been great! I sit down every night and plan out my meals for the next day and it really helps me avoid unnecessary munching and over-eating. I've also resolved to eat healthier options too (might I recommend the spicy black bean burger? GOOD stuff, y'all). I already feel better about myself and I'm not sure if I have noticed a weight difference yet, but I know it is coming soon. My work out schedule on the other hand is definitely paying off. I have started running 3-4 miles a day and I change it up every day by either running/biking/walking. It is seriously working wonders! I have so much more energy and I just feel better about myself. This semester Andrea and I are going to play some intramural sports at MTSU with some friends too. Exciting! I'm ready to meet new people and have fun getting exercise in. 

2. My general schedule and study habits. Anyone who knows me at all knows that I tend to spread myself very thin because I just can't say no to anyone. I love spending time with people so I accept any offer to connect with friends and acquaintances. Well, after a very stressful year of committing to everything and giving less than my best to everything. I have decided to plan my time more efficiently and to learn to say NO. (to drugs too, but mainly to dinner, icecream, lunch, movie, and shopping all in one day!) My week days now consist of staying in Murfreesboro, going to class, coming home and studying, going to work or working on some work, working out, cooking dinner, spending some personal time, and going to bed to get a FULL night of sleep. My weekends are free-for-all at this point but I have decided to spend Saturdays with my friends and Sundays at church and then coming home for some R&R. My pastor has said that God doesn't interrupt chaos, because no one will recognize it is God. I am so excited to see God ripple through theSpring and my personal life. I love that my structure and organization is going to pave a way for me and the people around me to recognize God more clearly than ever before.

3. The one area people always want to know about: dating. I am not going to get too terribly personal for the world wide web to read, but I will share a bit :) 2011 is the beginning of a new chapter for me in this area. I spent all of my teenage years in one of the following categories: 1. Great timing, terrible guy. 2. Great guy, terrible timing. After years and years of this heartbreaking and exhausting circle- I decided to take some time off from boys and wait until they were men and until I was old enough and mature enough to handle them. I wouldn't say at 19 (and a half!) that I have it all figured out, but it is really amazing what you learn about people, communication, and relationships when you aren't the one involved in them. I know what does and doesn't work (like communicating everything, works. Nagging and being obsessive/possessive, doesn't. And trust issues REALLY don't fair well.) and I know how to handle most situations in a mature, adult way. It has taken a lot of practice and a lot of bad experiences, but I think I have a good head on my shoulders finally and can handle stepping back into the dating scene. I'll say that I've had a pretty good experience so far ;) but that's all you get to know until I know more! 


That's pretty much it for 2011 so far! 
These are the things that I resolved to change about myself in 2011 and so far I am feeling very confident about each one!