Question?

I am up late. Yes, I am a college student so that is somewhat the norm. Tonight is different, and I've been picking up on it all day. I've started seeing a trend- that I write at night.

THE best part of being in a relationship with Christ is communicating with Him. Worship was always my link to Christ, but over the last year or so I would say that that link has shifted into a relationship of studying and devotion. Having said that, I've started recognizing when God's trying to get His point across to me. And for whatever reason I'm usually reluctant to listen (even the good, happy stuff! I'm hoping my stubbornness is only a phase).

Today has been one of THOSE days, where I really want to know what God has to tell me, but I want to put it off all day. Instead, I fill my brain with a million other thoughts or television shows to keep me distracted.

Anyways, I picked up a copy of Steven Furtick's Sun Stand Still last week (quick commentary- GET THE BOOK). I spent my early afternoon reading this book, and thoroughly enjoying it, but I refused to think too deeply about it simply because that would take a lot of spiritual evaluation.
Well, instead of thinking I've been distracting myself and STILL this question keeps gnawing at me....

"What can I do for you?"

You see, Furtick's book is about living with audacious faith. Seeing the impossible, and asking God to do it, believing that He is completely capable. The first step in this is identifying what you consider impossible and what you want to see God do (like make the Sun Stand Still, catchy, huh?). Have a clear vision.

I feel very strongly that God wants me to tell Him what miracle I need Him to do in my life..
See why I have put this off all day?
How do I nail down what I want God to do most, what seems most impossible to me?

Fix my broken relationships? Stabilize my finances? Help me pass chemistry?
(the last one was a bad joke, sorry)

I'm not going to tell you what Sun Stand Still moment I've requested of God, but I have no doubt He is going to do what I ask and exceed my expectations.

So now I'm passing the challenge onto you.
What can God do for you? Do you have the confidence and humility to ask it of Him?

Shut Your Mouth

So, I mentioned in my last note that I am a lover. My senior year of high school we read the book "The Five Love Languages". At the end of the book there is a self-test to discover which love you speak and need the most. Mine was Communication (go figure). So not only am I a lover.. I am a talkative lover. (A lot of my friends are probably reading this thinking "no kidding sarah") If I care about someone I make sure to talk to them on a daily basis. Even if it's a boring "Hey, what's up?" conversation.. I just love keeping in touch with my friends and making sure they know I care about them.

I say all that to preface that this bit of advice/information is just as much for myself as the next person, if not more so.

We (we as in people, more specifically Christians) have got a real problem with this whole talking business.

I don't invest much time in the news but what little I have heard/read about lately has had to do with cyber-bullying. Scientists, surveyors, investigators, what have you, claim that people have lost the emotional connection to communication because of all the online communication that has replaced a lot of verbal communication and face-to-face time. No wonder kids have no trouble saying terrible, degrading things via text or messaging. I know the majority of my fights happen over text, and 99% of the stuff i would never say if I was standing face-to-face with someone.

A friend of mine once stated that the church has become a hostile environment for Christians.. a place where instead of having a circle of trust and love most people find back-stabbing, envious people only conscious of their own agendas.. or even the complete opposite, that we as long-time Christians get an air of self-righteousness and any imperfection must be weeded out of the group.
I would venture to say that a lot of the social media and online interaction has contributed a lot to the lack of emotion in communication. But I think a lot more of it has to do with the condition of our relationship with Christ. Christ never judged a sinner, only loved them and encouraged them.
We are not perfect, and never EVER will be. Being a Christian is about making a commitment to Christ and then with the help of His spirit, living our lives to reflect more and more of His fruit and less and less of our flesh. The goal isn't to reach a point of perfection, but to deny our flesh more and more each day.

How can we do that when we spend all of our time judging and gossiping... ripping each other to shreds with rumors, stories, and gossip.
No wonder Christians hide and bury our sins, live double lives... and end up being huge hypocritical spectacles to the world.

So here's a challenge, to myself and the people around me.

Shut your mouth. Respect your friends and their words.
Take their confidence in you more seriously. Love them, flawed, broken, and all.
(Which if you see a trend here, would go back to loving people as dearly as God does).

A Little Piece of My Heart..

I used to write a lot.

Not just blogging (of course I was a huge fan on myspace and xanga way back when) but I used to journal almost daily. Of course, at 12 and 13 the most interesting things I really had to say was that my crush of 3 years looked at me during lunch. (Seriously, was I pathetic or what?). But lately I have been feeling this huge urge to express myself. I am assuming that my leave of absence wasn't because I had nothing to talk about, rather, I had nothing that I could talk about. I buried myself in quite a few situations that even aimless writing would lead to a huge spill of emotion and information. 

Now, almost 6 years after my last journal  experience, I am back to share what my 19 years of life has revealed to me, or just a piece for now...

1. God loves me.

Simple, right? Or maybe easier to say than it is to believe. I lean more towards the latter. Sure- I can talk about God and his unconditional, relentless love for me, but I have only begun to grasp it the past few months. After hitting a rock-bottom of sorts, God was still standing there, just waiting for me to ask him to show back up in my life (Matthew 7:7). And not just show up, but show off. He has not only picked me up from the situation I had put MYSELF in, but He has pulled me so much closer to Him and into a relationship I could only dream of just mere months ago. God loves me, no questions asked, no catch, He just does. How easy it is to love Him right back when I feel His love in my absolute lowest and darkest times.

2. That ^ is all you really need to know.

There is a time and place for theology, and a time and place for religion. But the rudimentary, essential, cornerstone to living the absolute best Christian life that you can is understanding that God loves you- and not just understanding, but experiencing that love first hand and claiming it for yourself. When someone can let themselves just be wholly loved by God, then you have no other option but to return that love. (I guess technically you do, but who really turns down a God who is captivated by you and absolutely adores you). So letting God love you, and loving Him right back. There is a part 2 to this and it is just as essential.

3. Loving people.

Now, I know a thing or two about this. I am a lover. I am a 110% romantic. Whether it is a person, a pet, a plant- I get attached. I am actually so carefree with my fondness that I get my heart broken constantly. Because people are human, very human, and sometimes they mess up. Or a lot of the time. With that being said, me (being very human as well) have managed to create my own blacklist of "enemies" or people who have ripped my heart out one too many times and have forever been banned from my love, or so i thought. Little did I know, that the more I fall in love with my Creator (who by the way created my ever-forgiving, too romantic heart because He wanted it that way) the more that I can't help but love people, even the ones I thought I could hate forever.

So it all comes full circle. Jesus repeatedly (and I don't mean 2 or 3 times) tells us to love God and to love people.

How easy it is to love people the way Christ asked us to when we let Him(and not other people who love conditionally) be our example of a lover.