Saturday, May 21, 2011

Midnight

This evening I decided to take my dog on a midnight stroll. Not the safest idea, but by far best decision I have made in a very long time.. there is something about feeling like the only person in the world that I tend to relish in. So, I am on this little trek of mine; the air is filled with the scent of honey suckle and the temperature is that cool, brisk, summer-time air that immediately sends me back to late night outdoor games at jr high camp, and all I can hear are crickets (or more likely cicadas) chirping. For a city girl, this scenery is rare, but I absolutely adore it when I take the time to enjoy it. I can't help but marvel at the nature created solely for our benefit.
So I am walking which is usually when I take the time to process, organize, analyze and reflect on my day but tonight my mind was flooded with all of these memories of intensely spiritual moments in my life. I won't give a rundown of every single one (because there are SO many ;) but I quickly realized that not a single one of them was inside a church and yet all of them were so meaningful to me that I was moved to tears just thinking about them again.
So why do we make spirituality so much about a service, congregation, denomination, or building?

Don't you think God is more interested in a one-on-one relationship with you?
I do. I think God still walks to "walk in the garden with us" but not in the way I've been taught to communicate with my Creator and Savior. See, I think the church has been programmed to think that God has to be riled up to show up. As in, we need to create the perfect environment for God to enter into.

I'm learning that your heart is the perfect environment, no matter what condition it is in. God desires to know YOU, to communicate with YOU, to reveal things to YOU, to confide in YOU, to listen to YOU. This is not a communal relationship God is after, it is individual.

Did you catch my "no matter what condition it is in"?
Call me crazy, but I have met some very imperfect people that God has done huge things through. And yes, there are plenty of examples in the bible, but I am talking real-life, right now people that churches quickly condemn and write off because of their mistakes.
Here's a bit of wisdom I heard in high school that has stuck with me ever since: people with the biggest callings for God often struggle with their flesh the most. As in, some people who are doing the greatest things for God, can also do some of the worst things to people.

I don't think I'm getting too far off-base to say that I believe God knows our hearts and intentions and is going to bless our passions, even if our flesh isn't 100% in line with our intentions. We are human, and I think the goal is to grow stronger in your spirit so that you can deny your flesh more often. The goal is not to never sin, it is to grow away from sin.

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